On Fear

A few days ago I put something on Facebook that ended up being more controversial than I had intended it to be. I wrote "how old is too old to take you boys into the ladies room? I just saw a lady take in her 5 and 7 year old.....I think that is too old!"

In a matter of moments, I had 8 comments. One from my friend who takes her nephews in at the same age to the ladies room with her. One from my friend at work asking if they were potty trained. One from Tom's cousin asking if I would let Luisa go in at 5 or 7 and then one that bothered me most of all. One from a girl I went to high school with that wrote that she lets her 6 yea old go in along but only if the makes sure the bathroom is empty first. Then she told of a boy in Engelwood that went into a Burger King Bathroom and a man cut off his penis. Apparently this happened when we were kids.

Immediately after that comment, two more popped up saying how now they would always go in the restroom with their kids after hearing that story. This made me sad. When I posted the Facebook post, I was more concerned with the notion that these boys did not know how to go to the bathroom on their own, not at all thinking about their safety. Of course it is safer if you accompany your child into a public restroom, but is that the right thing to do? Do you change your actions based on a one in a million chance that your child gets genitals cut off? Has it really come to this?

Statistically, the world is no more crazy that when we were kids. What has changed is that now we know about it. We see it in the news and online. We are exposed to it at such a high rate that people now believe that this is the norm.; that every time you walk into a public restroom, there is a chance that you will be attacked. This is true, there is a chance but no matter how small the chance, people are still afraid.

I can not recall one single time when I was accompanied into the restroom by my mom. I know she did, but from the time I was old enough to remember, she didn't. My sister may have, or my mom would wait outside the entrance to the restroom to make sure I didn't need any help. When I think about my own daughter, I think that at age 5, if she can reach the throne by herself, then yes, I will let her go into a public restroom by herself. I will wait by the entrance, ready to help if needed, but I will empower her to go on her own. To be clear, I am not talking about a public restroom in a park or an area where it is more likely that something strange could happen, but at the Tucson airport, with a bunch of people around, yes, I will let her go.

I can't help but think that trying to keep our kids safe from every imaginable harm is doing them a great injustice. We have to be smart, informed and confident in our children and have a little faith in each other and humanity. I want my daughter to be confident, aware and empowered to make decisions on her own. I simply can not protect her from every evil that exists and I can not live a life worrying about each and every thing that might happen. If that were the case, I would never leave the house. What do you all think?